on: 2011.

I really wasn't planning on writing a reflection blog about 2011. Unlike last year, I really didn't think anything was worth noting. I didn't have any huge defining moments. No big life change. For the most part, I woke up, went to school, went to church, kissed rob goodnight and then went to sleep.

Until the weekend of new years I was listening to pastor speak and he was reiterating how there is power in each day, and how we need to embrace and use that power wisely. How each day can make a difference in eternity no matter what we think. So I began thinking about the past year. Realizing that every day I lived last year was indeed important, regardless of what I think or how I feel.

I started thinking about writing this blog, and I realized that there were some milestones that I reached this year. Some parts of me that were changed forever. I still don't have a lot to say, but there were some things that stood out among the rest.

In April I had one of the most tumultuous weeks of my life. Emotional insanity, highs and lows, tough conversations, all while we were moving into our new church building (so not sleeping).

I learned what it's like to stand by someone through all obstacles. I learned what it's like to be trusted with the deepest parts of someone. To air out your skeletons and to see what the person you love thinks of you afterwards. The welcome weight that comes along with that knowledge. The incredibly different world you step into in the relationship following that. I learned what it's like to stand by someone when people you trust intensely have different opinions of them. What it's like to disagree with a leader. The kind of internal struggle that comes up after deciding to stand up like that. And the best part about it is that I left all of these separate situations much stronger. A stronger woman, a stronger girlfriend, a stronger follower of Christ. A stronger leader. These things tested my resiliency and my relationships, and only through Christ did I prevail, because there was so much rough in this year.

I completed my first semester of college during which I only got A's and B's, finally. I narrowed down my major. I started working on rebuilding a lot of burnt bridges. I watched two of my best friends get engaged, one get married.

If I had to put it into one word, it would be a year of commitment. A year of something that I'm not terribly familiar with. And I've decided that I know way too little about last year. I didn't take enough pictures, blog enough times, journal enough prayers. I have to be more intentional about what I do to document my year. And I have to realize exactly what weight each day this year holds. I have the power of eternity in every single day. What a beautiful realization.

This song came out just a few days ago and is so perfect for what I've experienced this year. Listen and read along. I promise it's worth your 4 minutes.

"we had to learn, how to bend,
without the world, caving in.
i had to learn, what i've got, and what i'm not
and who i am.
i won't give up on us.
even if the skies get rough.
i'm giving you all my love,
i'm still looking up, i'm still looking up.
i won't give up on us.
god knows i'm tough enough.
i'm giving you all my love,
god knows we're worth it."