on: winter.

Most people have their quirks. I can't sleep if a door is open. I'm obsessed with sunrises and the color yellow. I can't stand open backpacks (and stalk people and close their backpacks if they're open...) and I am comfortable when wearing a hat. I like public speaking and economics and pasta is my comfort food. I also hate the cold.

And I mean, I don't just think it's annoying and I don't find much comfort in knowing that with the cold comes the holidays, I actually truly just hate the cold. And I kind of hate that about myself. Recently, it's bothered me, and I'll explain why.

Mainly, because I actually let the cold effect my mood. All winter I hate being outside and I don't like going to school because that means walking around campus all day and I don't like sitting in my cold car at night and it brings a damper to my day. And it effects my ability to be present, to love the time and space I'm in, to love my friends and my job and my apartment and my car. It makes me always want to be somewhere else. I always dream about moving to southern California where it's always warm and I imagine a sparkling perfect life there, simply because the weather is warmer. Well, I know that people in San Diego still have bad days, even when the weather is perfect in February.

So I'm going to work on being present. On loving my family and my car and my church and my school and my job and my boyfriend to the best of my ability, and not wishing to be anywhere else. In an effort to begin this Albuquerque loving transformation, I (finally) changed my clock from San Diego time to Albuquerque time last night. I've been home for 11 months and it's still reflected the time in the place where I love the most. The time where I wish I was. And so judge me all you want, but it took me 15 minutes to finally switch my time back to Albuquerque time, that's how much I struggle with being present.

And then I think about it. I would sincerely miss this place like crazy if I were to go anywhere. I'd miss Rob. I'd miss church. I'd miss my sister. And while I wouldn't miss the cold one single tiny bit, I'd miss my life here in the cold. And with that thought process, and some divine assistance, I know I can learn to love the place God has me in even more than I do now.

"and though this winter does nothing but storm, the Joy in my heart is ablaze, and it's keeping me warm."